absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
