Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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