You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
