glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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