And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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