I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
