Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
