why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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