she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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