Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize