I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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