Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
