Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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