two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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