You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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