Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize