haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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