I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
