on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
