The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
