Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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