So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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