what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
