Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Randomize
