He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
