i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
