No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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