Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
