Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
