Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
