My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
