I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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