just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
