He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
