Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
