do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my liver is dry heaving
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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