Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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