She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
