I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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