I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
