She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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