i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This house was built for laser tag.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
