but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
