apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
