its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way