I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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