about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
