Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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