what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize