i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
