Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
