Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
