found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
