so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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