He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
