Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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