His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
