You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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