Whatcha textin bout Willis?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
