I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
