your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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