Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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