i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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