Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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