it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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