the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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